Today's work timesheet

This is an example of what my boss gets to read. It really is how I spent my workday:

I spent the day having lots of fun. I just love writing briefs that
1) involve wordplay, and 2) might actually have a prayer (so much for my New
Years' resolution). It's the sort of thing that makes non-lawyers' eyes
glaze over -- when a parking lot is NOT a "public place of accommodation" or
"public way." It's made all the more fun when the prosecutor doesn't get
the charge correct, and pays no attention when the judge denies the motion for
directed verdict, using loud stage whispers:

[NOTE: editorial license used for dramatic effect -- actual events much more
boring]

Defense: I move for directed verdict. There's no proof that the location is a place of public accommodation.

Prosecutor: Uh HUH. Is too.

Judge: Well, the fight happened (ahem) outside the building (pointed stare at prosecutor) in the parking lot (cough cough) perhaps even on the street (eyebrows move up and down), so (elbows prosecutor) since we haven't seen the instructions yet (wink wink) I'll deny the motion at this time.

Later:

Prosecutor: I submit these instructions, charging agg batt/public place of
accommodation.

Defense counsel: (silence)

Judge: (sigh) Okay.

Later still, at sentencing:

Defense counsel: The State didn't prove that the parking lot of a privately owned facility is a public place of accommodation. (actually presents a witness to testify that if the general public just wandered around, they'd call the cops)

Prosecutor: Uh HUH. Is SO.

Judge: Whatever. Denied.