:-(

Molly Ivins died.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/31/obit.ivins.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

You give 'em hell in the next life, Molly.

Bridal Showers, where you find out your friends need help.....

First off, I attended a lovely bridal shower given in honor of a long-time friend, good egg, and super defender.

The bride is the one in the dark sweater.

The next photo is one of the new mother and sister in law. I just thought it was a lovely shot.

The next shot is the hostess with the mostest. She said she got a picture of me taking a picture of her. I was a bit slower.

I could upload more pics, but these people at Blogger won't let me.

A good time was had by all.

Until I found out my friends are favoring the (blech) DOLTS in the Super Bowl.

Ladies. Illinois has: Chicago and Barack, and eagle watching along the Illinois River. Indiana has, what. Dick Lugar and East Chicago. Muncie.

There is no good shopping in Indiana. Unless you count the outlet shops in Jeffersonville. And I don't. Besides, the ones in Gurnee are much, MUCH better.

Repent before it's too late!!!

Why I Hate Men

It's 3:37 a.m. I'm up because someone, not naming names, but his team rhymes with "The Dolts," snores.

This is normally not that big of a problem, since we have more than one bedroom. I can just go to the one that isn't shut off (and thus has heat), and sleep there.

Except that someone else slept there on Saturday, because he played poker and smelled of cheap Anheuser products and cigarettes. He stripped that bed on Sunday and I washed the sheets (because they sat in a pile in the kitchen for a period of time that indicated that if I didn't do it, they may sit there for a while).

He told me on Sunday he'd make that bed on Monday.

He told me on Monday he'd make that bed on Tuesday.

It's 3:30 on Wednesday morning, and I just got through making that bed so I'd have someplace to sleep that isn't right next to a freight train.

But not before I woke him up to explain how displeased I was.

And, as I type this, Mr. Dolts Fan is asleep again.

At least my displeasure does not stress him unduly.

GO BEARS!! updated

Sadly, it was not to be this year.

Still, my beloved Sox won in 05, followed by my beloved Cards in 06. I can live with it. And while Indy is a flyover of no cultural value, Tony is a good guy. No biggie.

Oh. My. God.

http://www.sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com/archive/011807.html

Will Fox "News" have the common decency to fire him? I doubt it.

http://mediamatters.org/items/200701190009

There's a special place in Hell for O'Reilly.

One reason why living in Southern Illinois is a step back in time, or One Reason Why I Ran Screaming From Marion

http://www.southernillinoisian.com/articles/2007/01/16/top/18887582.txt

The tasty quote, from dinosaur mayor Bob Butler*:

"Far be it for me to speculate on the workings of the female mind."

Do you think gender would have been a subject of commentary if the litigants were male?

I think not.

Here it is, 2007, and women still have to put up with this crap.



*assuming his name is Robert Lee Butler, he was last registered as an attorney in Illinois in 1984 before suspension. He does not appear to have ever tried to get his license back as ARDC still has it listed as suspended. Mr. Butler appears to have failed to to "demonstrat[e] rehabilitation, good character, and current knowledge of the law in a subsequent reinstatement case" to the Supreme Court's satisfaction. The difficulties he encountered had something to do, as I recall, with ticket fixing. In any event, a man with that track record is the source. Consider it accordingly.

Paybacks, Golden Rules, Hypocrisy, Lemmings, and Whatnot

This is what happens when your own rules are used:

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/01/11/barney-frank-kicks-patrick-mchenry-around-the-house-floor/

And, what's about to happen:

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/01/11/mitt-romney-changes-his-mind-on-abortion/

Apparently, you're a "flip flopper" even if you aren't John Kerry.

Oh, how ideology goes by the wayside:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2007/1/14/0746/72842

And:

http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2007/01/12/tears/index.html

I shed a tear, too, but that's because I'm left to wonder what is really going on under his thinning hair. He can't be upset because he keeps sending middle class people to die for his poorly executed folly while his own bimbo daughters wreak havoc on Buenos Aires.

And, just when I think he can't demonstrate any more irony, the man who can't even form subject-verb agreement goes on 60 Minutes to claim he's the "Educator in Chief." Oh!! That's the problem - it isn't that his policies stink. It's that we're too stupid to understand them, and if he keeps repeating them in small words, we'll eventually see how wise he truly is.

It boggles the mind.

Today's work timesheet

This is an example of what my boss gets to read. It really is how I spent my workday:

I spent the day having lots of fun. I just love writing briefs that
1) involve wordplay, and 2) might actually have a prayer (so much for my New
Years' resolution). It's the sort of thing that makes non-lawyers' eyes
glaze over -- when a parking lot is NOT a "public place of accommodation" or
"public way." It's made all the more fun when the prosecutor doesn't get
the charge correct, and pays no attention when the judge denies the motion for
directed verdict, using loud stage whispers:

[NOTE: editorial license used for dramatic effect -- actual events much more
boring]

Defense: I move for directed verdict. There's no proof that the location is a place of public accommodation.

Prosecutor: Uh HUH. Is too.

Judge: Well, the fight happened (ahem) outside the building (pointed stare at prosecutor) in the parking lot (cough cough) perhaps even on the street (eyebrows move up and down), so (elbows prosecutor) since we haven't seen the instructions yet (wink wink) I'll deny the motion at this time.

Later:

Prosecutor: I submit these instructions, charging agg batt/public place of
accommodation.

Defense counsel: (silence)

Judge: (sigh) Okay.

Later still, at sentencing:

Defense counsel: The State didn't prove that the parking lot of a privately owned facility is a public place of accommodation. (actually presents a witness to testify that if the general public just wandered around, they'd call the cops)

Prosecutor: Uh HUH. Is SO.

Judge: Whatever. Denied.

Reading List

I got lots of knitting books for the holidays, and poured over them all. They include:

Knitting Tips and Trade Secrets
Folk Vests
Knitting Beyond the Edge
Stitchery Vol. 3 -- Color

I have yet to make anything using them, so stay tuned.

I've also read:

This Is Not Chick Lit -- like most anthologies, some are better than others. The contributions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Aimee Bender, Curtis Sittenfeld, and Jennifer Egan are the best. As a lover of short stories, however, I liked them all. And I heard all about how all the chick lit people are all bent out of shape over this. Perhaps you wouldn't be so defensive if you didn't know it was true: "chick lit" is mindless, useless crap. Stop reading that tripe and read something GOOD. Like this.

Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier. Yes, yes, I know. It's not Cold Mountain. But it's still good. I tend to favor southern writers, ironic in that I generally hate the south. But it's loosely based on a real person, with whom the character "shares some DNA." I recommend it.

The Thirteenth Tale (all the 13s........) by Diane Setterfield. I'm normally not one for the Brits, but this is quite a good story. I can't really describe it without giving away the good parts.

It's finished

For those who saw this in various sections, it's done. And fits like a dream.

The pattern is from the Fall 2005 Interweave knits.

http://www.interweaveknits.com/backissues/F_06.asp

Instead of the delicious alpaca in the pattern, I used a bag of Jo Sharp DK wool in a discontinued color that I'd gotten in San Diego. I then ordered the remaining colors from the Jo Sharp website, and with the exchange rate against the Australian dollar, it was a bargain.

http://www.ozeyarn.com/category34_1.htm

The Insanity continues

Quotables:

W said Thursday he wished the execution of Saddam Hussein "had gone in a more dignified way."

Will someone explain to me how premeditated, cold-blooded, calculated, intentional, deliberate murder (and that's what the death penalty is, no matter what alleged justification you conjure up for it) be more "dignified"? A public hanging is just plain barbarism, brought to you by the 11th Century. How do you make that more "dignified"?

Then the Republicans now have the unmitigated gall to complain that Nancy Pelosi appears to be considering hoisting them on their own petard. They have the 20 pound 'nads necessary to actually say that she is letting the American people down by treating them just as they treated the Democrats.

Well cry me a river.

"The much ballyhooed commitment to minority rights is virtually nonexistent," complained Rep. David Dreier, who as Rules Committee chair was the person mainly charged with executing the Republican policy of curtailing minority voices. "Promises were made, and they are not being kept," whined Dreier. "That is the thing that I find most troubling."

Now THAT takes a COMPLETE lack of shame.

And finally, from Representative Kingston of Georgia, upon hearing the news that Steny Hoyer intended to make the Congress work more that two days per week:

"Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."

All I can say is "wow -- is this jerk out of touch."

Hypocrisy, Thy Name is George -- and Pat

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/01/02/olbermann-special-comment-on-sacrifice/

Right ON, Keith. W's all about sacrificing other people's children while his own party hearty in Buenos Aires (presumably taking Daddy's advice to support the war effort by shopping).

And all because he has some messianic delusion that God picked him, and that he's right about lying to the entire nation so he could start a war in a country that was no threat to us. And he dithers now about what to do, letting more and more die, all because he can't admit that he blew it. BIG TIME.

And, while we're on the topic of hypocrites and delusionals, here's a question. Most people who claim God told them something are carted off to the State Hospital. When this snake-oil salesman says it, the media shows up:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/02/robertson.predictions.ap/index.html

The sheeple who watch the 700 Club need to put away their checkbooks, turn off the TV, and go volunteer at a homeless shelter. THAT'S Christian.

That thud you heard was me getting off my soapbox.

Workworkwork

Right before the holidays, I received a written opinion on one of my cases that made me unhappy. Quite unhappy. This is unusual -- normally I don't get that worked up. But they done my client all wrong.

Those who know me well know that I am nothing if not efficient in the exercise of my tasks. When needed, I tend to quickly write and file any necessary subsequent motions/petitions while the ideas are still fresh.

This time I could not. I spent most of one morning trying to write something that wouldn't get me disbarred. Several drafts involved commentary, commentary that even described here might result in an unpleasant communique from ARDC. And so, I discarded all attempts, save a snotty limerick (contained instead in my "timesheet" to my boss, who will likely appreciate same), vowing to begin anew after the holiday.

And so I did. It still took two hours to write about three pages. Every sentence seemed to either start or end with some smart alecky descriptive term (I know -- those of you who've met me find that almost impossible to fathom) . I finally got it down and, knowing it would still need a steadier eye, gave it to two people for a tone check.

Then I indulged in my fantasy of being Judge Judy. What a gravy job. You get to give lectures to young women who stupidly give money to loser deadbeat boyfriends, you get to yell at the loser deadbeat boyfriends, and you get to tell a wide swath of society that they are just morons/irresponsible bums/losers/deadbeats/scum. I could soooo do that.

And then I baked an apple pie cookie thing.

Such was my day.

Told you I was boring.

One of the Coolest Scarves to Actually Be Seen

Entrelac (for you non-knitters, it's the technique that produces the effect shown here) seemed interesting. I tried reading and figuring it out, but the words didn't translate into my head.

Then my friend and co-worker Jennifer started an entrelac shawl. We carpool the considerable distance to work, and one drives while the other knits. I watched her do some turns, read the pattern, watched some more, and then I realized how to do it. VoiLA!!

I found this pattern at Patternworks, and the yarn in a kit. It's Gedifra Fashion Trend. I think it's awfully nifty.

The Coolest Scarf to Never Be Seen

I was sooooo proud of this. It's just Plymouth Suri Merino and Vivian Hoxbro's Shadow Knitting. Using just two colors and stitches, you create this effect.

Of course, Drew never wears it. I made him a sweater he refused to wear as well. I ripped it out and made another sweater he said he liked. He has yet to wear it. He has until March, and then that sweater will disappear, and he can just FORGET ever having a special knitted object ever again.

At least he likes my cooking.

I finished my first effort at fair isle today. After careful blocking and sewing, it will be a garment by the end of the week.